


Nott the Best Confidant

by dragongabi



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, POV Nott (Critical Role), featuring high wis low int cad, tbh everyone loves jester, top table loves jester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:04:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23005462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragongabi/pseuds/dragongabi
Summary: Nott has a series of Significant Conversations in a rather short amount of time, and she’s not really sure what to do about them.Everyone loves Jester, Nott POV
Relationships: Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast, Nott & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 5
Kudos: 128





	Nott the Best Confidant

Nott has a series of Significant Conversations in a rather short amount of time, and she’s not really sure what to do about them.

First is the conversation with Beau. Sure, she was skeptical of the idea of exchanging secrets (she didn’t really see the point, honestly) but she had to admit that it felt rather nice to be trusted with Beau’s crush. That someone came to _her_ for advice, even with her looking like she does and everything. And it was nice to get her feelings off her chest, too. It was probably easy for Beau to trust her, though, what with how good she is at keeping secrets.

A few days later, Nott is still debating how she’s going to get Jester to fall dramatically into Beau’s arms, and wondering if Jester is still caught up in her crush on Fjord and if she has even really thought about her sexuality, or if that was something Nott was going to have to introduce from scratch. There’s a lot of work to be done, basically, which is why she doesn’t mind taking first watch as the group settles down for the night. She’s already halfway into planning how to bring up women and the concept of seeing them romantically when she notices Fjord hasn’t gone to sleep with everyone else and is, instead, making his way towards her.

“Mind if I sit?” He asks, gesturing next to Nott.

She shrugs, still rather preoccupied with her previous train of thought. Maybe she could find a romance novel featuring two women, and see if Jester seems into it? That might be a good idea— 

“Can I ask you something?” Fjord’s crisp, posh voice cuts through her reverie. 

“Hm? Oh, sure. What’s up?”

He looks down, picking at some grass next to him for a moment before he speaks. “Do you think— Have you seen— I mean, you’re pretty close to—”

“Good gods, Fjord. Spit it out.”

He huffs a laugh. “Okay. Okay, this is a sort of strange question. But I don’t know, I think maybe you can offer some insight. If someone were to compliment you and flirt with you often — like, saying you’re quite pretty and stealthy and reassuring you about stuff you worry about — that’s not very platonic, is it? Or could someone be doing that just to be friendly?”

Oh.

Suddenly, Fjord has all of Nott’s attention. “Are you asking me about Jester?”

She could’ve sworn his cheeks got a little darker, even in the dim light of their camp. His eyes stayed fixed on the ground. “Well, yeah. I guess. She— You’ve noticed it too, of course. She flirts with me and tells me I’m handsome and strong and that my tusks are growing in well.” He rubs the back of his neck. “And, well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the attention. And how her cheeks go purple when I flirt back. But I just— I wouldn’t want to get my hopes up if that was just how she shows her friendship.”

Oh. Oh, okay. Nott needs to play this very, very carefully. On one hand, she’s pretty sure Jester’s crush on Fjord has been fading recently (something she had been planning to use to her advantage to get Beau and Jester together) but at the same time, it’s not like she could lie to Fjord and say Jester has only ever seen him as a friend. Right?

Nott decides to be mostly honest, without outing anyone’s confidence in her. She is an excellent secret keeper, after all.

“Well, Jester is a pretty affectionate person to everyone, especially to our little group. She calls Beau and Yasha strong as well, and blushes when anyone responds to her flirting. Did you see how flustered she got when Beau winked at her?”

Fjord is frowning a little, eyes still on the ground. “Right.”

Nott sighs. “But I have to admit she does seem to flirt with you the most, out of everyone. I think that, no matter Jester’s feelings on the subject, you would have to consider how you feel about her. You can’t choose to like someone just because they flatter you. And you can’t choose to immediately stop liking someone just because they don’t feel the same way. So: what do you think?”

Fjord glances at Nott, before going back to fidgeting with the grass. “I mean— Well— She’s really quite remarkable, right? And she’s so fun, and clever, and she makes me feel better about myself which is a feat I would’ve thought impossible until I met her, honestly. And— I kissed her cheek that one time, kind of on impulse, but, Wildmother save me, her surprise was so cute I could’ve screamed.”

Nott nods sympathetically. “Plus, there’s the time you gave her her first kiss, remember?”

Fjord’s eyes snap to hers. “That was her first kiss?”

Oh, fuck. So much for keeping secrets. “What? No! Who said that? You’re hearing things, Tusktooth.”

“Shit, I didn’t even know. Gods, and then I didn’t even talk about it with her after! I just thought I was doing what anyone would’ve done to save her. I hadn’t even thought of it as a kiss. Shit, I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

Well, there’s no denying it now. “No, Fjord, you didn’t fuck up. I know she isn’t upset with you about it. If anything, she was happy her first kiss was such a romantic gesture from her real life Oskar.”

He laughs lightly. “I really need to read that book, huh? Maybe my way into Jester’s heart is a white pirate shirt with a low vee after all.” Fjord stands up, brushing the pieces of torn grass off of his pants. “Thank you, Nott. This was really helpful. Have a good night.”

Shit, was it? “Um, no problem. Goodnight.”

Oh gods, did she just make this already complicated situation worse? And what, if anything, is she going to tell Beau?

—

Less than a week after her conversation with Fjord, Nott is snacking on some spitroasted rat with Yasha while the party has a short, midday rest. It is the first time Nott has eaten rat since her transformation back into her Halfling body, and she is delighted that she still enjoys it.

A few yards away, Jester is reading aloud from _Tusk Love_ to Fjord and Beau, entertaining them while they go through their workout routine. It seems like Fjord is focusing more on the book than his exercise, however, and Beau scolds him for his lack of focus, even as her gaze drifts to the tiefling more than a few times. 

Nott is staring at the three of them when Yasha speaks. “She really is quite cute, isn’t she?”

Her eyes snap to Yasha’s, whose gaze is fixed on Jester as she reads aloud, gesturing with her hands and changing her voice and facial expressions to match the characters. Gods, is she _also_ in love with Jester? “You too?”

Yasha looks at Nott curiously. “Too?”

Shit. “Huh?”

“You said, you too?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, why would I say that, that’s crazy!”

Yasha has an amused glint in her eye. “Okay.”

“I’m serious!”

“I believe you, Veth.” 

Right. Nott’s still not used to hearing her old name come from her friends’ mouths. She crosses her arms petulantly, knowing this is an argument she has lost. Anyway, she’s getting off topic, and she decides to steer the conversation in a different direction. “Do you—” Nott hates this, why does she keep ending up in this position, “Do you like her?”

“Of course I do. She’s very likeable.”

“Right.”

Yasha must notice something in Nott’s expression, because she asks: “Don’t you? Like her?”

“No!” Nott is _married_ , and even if she wasn’t, she wouldn't want to throw her hat into this mess.

“Why not?”

“What do you mean why not? I have a husband!”

“Huh.” Yasha pauses, “I fear we may have had a miscommunication. Do you not like her as a friend?”

“What? Of course I do!” 

Yasha nods.

“Wait— Does that mean— When you said—”

Yasha huffs a laugh. “I am not in love with Jester, Veth. Of course, I find her adorable, and I will admit to have been charmed by her on more than one occasion. In that regard, I do understand why certain people would fall for our dear friend.”

Oh.

“Certain people?” Nott cuts her eyes to Beau and Fjord. “Do you mean—“ when she looks back at Yasha, the larger woman’s eyes are fixed over Nott’s shoulder. She follows her gaze to Caleb, who is leaning against the base of a tree, nose deep in a book.

Wait, _what?_

Yasha seems to notice Nott’s shocked expression. Her own eyes widen. “Wait, did you not mean—”

“ _What?_ " Nott’s voice is shrill now, even more than usual.

“Um, I meant—” It is Yasha’s turn to be flustered. “I was just looking at— For no reason— Uh, um—”

Nott stops listening to Yasha’s panicked deflection, turning to stare at Caleb. He seems to be reading, but every now and then his eyes glance up towards the blue tiefling across the clearing.

“—And, so, yeah— It’s me, I was totally lying, I am in love with Jester and no one else is—”

Good gods, this is a lot to unpack. Nott is going to have to process this bombshell later, but first she needs to calm Yasha before the Aasimar has a stroke.

“Yasha, it’s okay. I won’t say anything.”

Yasha stops mid sentence, looking at Nott with wide eyes. “You won’t?”

“Yeah, totally. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Um, yeah. My secret.”

“Yes.” At this point, Nott is just fucking with her. “I won’t tell anyone that you are in love with her.”

Yasha clearly has no idea what to do from here. “Right. Yes, thank you. I, um, really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” Nott stands up, and makes her way to the rest of the group. She does her best to keep a calm facade as they pack up, and resolves to investigate this new piece of information as soon as possible.

—

Over the next few days, Nott pays even more attention to Caleb than normal. 

She almost can’t believe she didn’t see it before: the way his eyes track her, how he turns red whenever she jokes with him, and how he seems to worry about her even more than anyone else in their little family.

Sure, she’s not perceptive like Caduceus, but she usually notices when something is right in front of her face.

Speaking of Caduceus — she needs to remember to check in with the Firbolg. She doesn’t think he is in love with Jester, but at the rate everything is going, it seems increasingly possible.

She would love to include Jester in her little investigation into Caleb’s feelings, since acting like a detective isn't the same without her, but she doesn’t think that would go over well. ‘Hey, Jester, I’m breaking practically everyone’s trust in me by telling you this, but our whole party is in love with you and I'm trying to figure out if Caleb is too! Wanna join?’

Yeah, right.

It’s less than a week after her conversation with Yasha when Nott finally decides to talk to Caleb. Her heart can’t take the tragic expression he seems to have perpetually fixed on his face lately.

Before she can get to him, however, Caduceus slides up beside her, catching her off guard.

“We are family, right, Veth?”

“What? Oh, uh, yes. Of course.”

“And family can share anything with each other, right?”

Goodness gracious, what now? “...Yes?”

“Good,” Caduceus smiles gently. “I just wanted to check in if there is anything you might want to share with me.”

“Huh?” She doesn’t think there is, unless he is referring to the comedy of errors unfolding around Jester’s romantic interests. “I’m good, I think.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep! Super sure, now if you don’t mind—”

“Because I’ve noticed you’ve been staring a lot at Mister Caleb.”

Oh, no.

“And I just want you to know that if you need someone to share your feelings with, I am here for you.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Caduceus, but it's not like that—”

“I’m sure,” he says, that stupid soothing smile still set on his face. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, but the offer is there.”

“No— Cad— It's really not like that!”

He is already walking away from her, casually strolling towards the front of their traveling group. Next to Caleb.

Fuck.

Now, not only can she no longer use this time to talk to Caleb alone, but she has to deal with Caduceus thinking she is in love with the wizard!

Look, she’s not going to lie. She did confess her crush on him to Beau, after all. But that was old news! She finds him handsome and wonderful, sure, and she loves him dearly, but she is _married_ . _Happily_ married! At this point, he is her best friend, and all she wants is for Caleb to be happy.

And for that to happen, she has to gods-damned talk to him!

—

Nott’s next opportunity to _finally_ speak with Caleb alone arises that same day, when he offers to take first watch. She quickly jumps at the chance, and announces that she will be joining him to the group. No one seems to bat an eye, and everyone lays down to sleep in Caleb’s dome — this time a dark green color designed to blend in with the forest floor. 

The two of them take watch a few yards away from the dome so they can speak without anyone hearing. Or, at least, that is Nott’s plan — she is pretty sure Caleb must think she is insane for choosing to sit out in the cold rather than in the warm, magical shelter. Still, he sits with her anyway, without asking any questions. Because he is just — the best. Everything he does reminds her how lucky she is to have him in her life, and now she is going to repay the favor by being his confidant, whether he wants her to or not.

They sit side by side in a comfortable silence as Nott tries to figure out how to broach the topic of his feelings without revealing Yasha’s slip up. She picks at her cuticles, twisting the words in her mind to try and fit them together in just the right way.

She finally thinks she knows how to begin when Caleb asks, “Are you alright?”

Nott glances up, meeting his eyes, and finds them watching her carefully. “Oh, um. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he says, leaving it at that, never one to push her to speak when she doesn’t want to. _Gods,_ Caleb is just the best person she knows. He and Jester deserve each other, she thinks, building up courage to speak.

“It’s just— I’ve been a little stressed lately, is all.”

Caleb nods. “That’s understandable. It is a stressful time, and you just underwent a huge change.”

She shakes her head. “No, no, it’s not that. Well, honestly, that probably didn’t help, but. I feel like a lot of the group has been turning to me for advice since I’ve gotten my body back. And a little before that, too. I just— I want to help but I don’t know _how_. And,” she hesitates, unsure if this is the right way to bring this up, “I want to help you especially, you know?”

Caleb’s look of gentle understanding fades into confusion. “Help me?”

“Yes, Caleb. I love you, and I want you to be happy.”

He hesitates for a moment, schooling his face into a blank expression. “I am happy, Veth.”

“I think we both know that’s not true, Caleb.”

They sit in silence for a long time after she says that, and Nott stresses that she pushed him too far. His eyes are firmly set on the moss green dome containing their friends, his expression heartbreakingly tragic.

She has almost given up, certain that they won’t be speaking more on this topic tonight, when Caleb sighs, and speaks: “I am happy. Honestly. I— I have a hard time putting it into words, and I worry a lot, but I am much happier with our little family than I had ever been before. I can only hope to be worthy of you guys, some day.”

Oh, Caleb. “You _are_ , though. I just— I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Caleb. You are the best, kindest person I know, and you deserve the world. You are worthy of your friends, and,” she takes a deep breath, “you are worthy of love. Of— Of _Jester’s_ love.”

Caleb goes very, very still. 

Nott plows on. “Listen, I know— I know you don’t believe me, but if you just _told_ her— If any of you guys just let her make her own decision instead of having it be made for her, I _know_ she could love you. I mean,” Nott laughs lightly, with a tinge of desperation, “Who wouldn’t? You are so— You’re just— You’re the _best_ , Caleb.”

“I’m not, though.” Caleb speaks very quietly, his face hard set in the very expression she was trying to avoid. “You may have forgiven me, Veth, by some grace of the gods and the goodness in your heart but— Jester doesn’t even _know_ about my past.” His breathing picks up, and his words seem to pour out of him for the first time since Nott has met him. “She would _hate_ me, I just know it — she cares so much about family and rightness and balance in the universe and I— I have only ever brought misery to the universe. Anyone else would be better for her,” it’s his turn to let out a small, pained laugh, “and it’s not like I’m the only one who has noticed her loveliness. Either of them would be better options, and I could never try to stand in the way of her happiness with them.”

For a minute, Nott isn’t sure what to say. She loves Caleb but — so much of what he just said is absurd to her. “You might think Fjord and Beau are better choices, Caleb, but that is Jester’s choice to make. How could she choose you if she doesn’t even know you are an option? And, about the other thing you said — Jester could never hate you, Caleb. She already loves you too much for that.”

Caleb doesn’t say anything, after that. He just sits there silently, the same tortured look on his face, until their watch is over and Caduceus comes to relieve them. He hurries into the dome as soon as he is given the opportunity, leaving her standing by Caduceus, watching him leave.

“Looks like you guys had a pretty serious conversation,” says Caduceus, a knowing look on his face.

“Nope,” Nott says, following after Caleb, far too exhausted to deal with this at the moment, “not serious at all. Goodnight, Cad.”

“If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here!” He calls after her, and she picks up her pace.

“No need! _Goodnight,_ Caduceus!”

“Goodnight,” Caduceus says. Just as she ducks her head into the dome, she hears him chuckle lightly to himself and add, “I sure do hope you crazy kids figure things out.”

Good gods. She does _not_ want to deal with that. 

Anyway, she feels pretty good about the advice she gave Caleb today, and she goes to bed wondering how this mess will resolve itself in the future.

— 

Not long after, Caleb tells the rest of the party what happened with his parents. Jester is the first to respond, jumping out of her seat and holding him tightly to her. Everyone else follows soon after, and Caleb is quickly in the middle of a group hug. No matter what happens, Nott thinks, squished between Yasha and Fjord, she knows her family will make it through just fine.


End file.
